Thursday, December 30, 2010

Buddha never sent a txt

I "know" what is in the present moment and what is not, BUT that is so easily compromised. Separating myself from my phone has proven to be a very complicated task. I can bombard someone with messages and try to draw them into my present moment but that doesn't make them part of my present moment.

I have been grasping at what I think should be, when I should be accepting what is. I tell you in painful honesty that the two seem to coincide less and less everyday. I just feel so "aaaahhhhh!!!" about it all. Someone dear to me is slipping further and further away ... again. But I can think of nothing to do about that. Regardless my mind returns to the simple words "o me! O life! .... the powerful play goes on" and in truth it does. I am afraid, but I will no longer be ruled by that fear.

I feel so very alone, so lonely. I suppose then I must turn within and nourish myself. I must put down my phone and accept absence.

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