Praximity

9:00 am
OK WELL ... If I could ditch work right this second to go take the praxis I WOULD. If I have to explain myself more slowly and in greater detail to one more dimwitted teacher I may explode. Perhaps they think I'm just a dumb dedicated aide, or perhaps they just don't listen, but either way they are slow and unresponsive. Did the system kill them? Were they once bright lights that have since burnout? I may never know these answers.

I do however know that I must collect my transcripts and prepare my portfolio, schedule a praxis and get my shit together. I can teach. I will teach. I want to teach.

That feeling I had at ISTE when the wonderfully inspirational woman who spoke of having so much trouble in school that she came back to appeal to "that student" of future generations ... that feeling has remained. I was never that student. I was always the safe bet to pair up with "that student" for group work. Some how miraculously I learned to reach them. Now in my adulthood I realize that my life has been a series of steps in learning to teach them.

My student now is brilliant. His meltdowns humble me. I see my recent failings in them. I see myself on the idealic streets of Senoia, Georgia kicking the tires of my adorable scooter, cursing the universe, cursing Sean and wishing someone would literally just shoot me. I have behaved badly of late. I can only hope that this was necessary to understand. I was late arriving to the party, but I have learned to dance.

Amendment (1:20): Praxis scheduled for Saturday.